Is death a part of the gift?

    How do we view this?  Is it an issue we are angry about.  Do we feel cheated.  Are we attempting to avoid the inevitable?  Often with the loss of a loved one we will have many emotions.  If our ideology includes a concept of life after death and this is a place of eternal rest, calm, peace, joy; does it make sense that we should mourn for the departed?  Or is the issue one of mourning for our loss?  Honesty is so important if we are to resolve our grief.  We have suffered a profound loss.  It is our very nature to have a wide variety of emotions; anger, sadness, denial, guilt, loneliness, a sense of being abandoned, even a secret sense of relief or revenge, all very real.

    How long does it take to find our way back to happiness?  What path do we follow?  Is there a set of rules?  Do guilt and shame help?   What is “normal” about the process of grieving?

    I would answer this question with a simple “nothing”.  Grief is about finding our way out of a dark room by searching, trial and error.  There is no right or wrong way to do this.

    One caveat: Mood altering drugs may halt the process of grief.  We must go through the pain to finally find relief.  No drug can avoid this for us.

    Alone, the process may be endless.  With the help of others, especially those with whom we can identify, the passage may be infinitely easier.  Together we can.  Join with us, be among us, feel the beat of our hearts as we work together on healing the brokenness.  We are here for you.  Our stories are like yours.  We will listen and love you unconditionally.  Death is a part of the gift.

        Fantine    Monday    September  28, 2009

          Photo: Spanish Peaks, Las Animas County, Colorado

Fantine’s Voice
                                                                © 2009 Fantine

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